I’ve just finished pre-season. After 28 years in the game, and one year out of it, I’ve managed to get through a gruelling pre-season schedule without the pains, the agonies and the muscle strains associated with that necessary torture.
This time though it was nothing to do with fitness as my very own preparation for what’s to come, consisting of 86,000 words in five months and the completion of the first draft of my book. You see that’s what my publishers told me, this was the tough part, getting it all down, all the stories and the stuff behind the scenes, all the politics from inside the dressing room that you never get to hear about and all the insights you seem to be enjoying from my blog.
When I was approached by Teckle Books about writing the story of my career and that of a journeyman footballer and coach it was important to me that I wrote it myself. My words, my experiences and my agonies. I promised I’d tell the truth, warts and all about what goes on inside football and I have. It wasn’t ghost-written and wasn’t beefed up with the minute details of what I had for breakfast or watched on TV the night before my debut. I know I’m not a big name and can’t sell a book on the back of an English Premier League career. I haven’t enjoyed lunch with royalty so I can’t describe that particular day of boredom that, despite the lack of real insider revelations, has people buying the book because the author, or at least the person dictating the story to a writer, played for Manchester United.
This is real football; the fights, the fallouts, the managers, the chairmen, the fans, the injuries and the team mates. It’s not been easy and I’ve fought an internal battle at every stage about how much detail is too much detail – what I was earning, if I should let you into my personal, family life and how difficult things were at times, and whether I should tell you which players, managers, coaches and players I fell out with and WHY I fell out with them. But I have, because what’s a story without telling the truth?
High And Dry Way
My publishers at Teckle Books have been incredibly supportive, especially through the biggest kick in the teeth of all when my father died in April. He didn’t ‘pass away’, he didn’t ‘go to a better place’, he died. He left me, empty and disconsolate, seven months before my book will come out. After 11 days in hospital and the ‘arrangements’ afterwards, it was three weeks before I could so much as muster the ‘Q’ in Qwerty. The support I received from them and those around me gave me the strength to lift up my beloved Blackberry again (I know but my fat thumbs just won’t do iPhone keyboard’s) and get back on the literary horse. I’m sure my Dad will approve when he does read it because he was the greatest influence anyone could have wished for, both in life and in football, all about integrity and honesty. Somehow, we’ll get a copy to him up there.
Then, a few weeks ago and with 70,000 words in the can, I got another, horrible, sickening feeling that my work was all going to go to waste. This book writing was starting to mirror my career, with kicks in the teeth and inevitable barriers being put up in front of me at every turn. You know that feeling you get, when you’ve put so much into something and it’s taken away from you before you even get the chance to complete the job, like tearing a hamstring the week before the Cup Final or leaving your final dissertation on a train? I’d had enough literal and metaphorical kicks in the balls in my football career to know what that cramp-like, nauseous feeling in my stomach was. I stumbled upon a story on Twitter about an English, lower League footballer who had decided to release a book about life as a Journeyman footballer, called, unsurprisingly, JOURNEYMAN. That was the name of MY book. What do I do now? I mean, he’ll have a different story to tell, but what kind of appeal will two books with the same name about the same subject have?
We decided to change the name but the book was going ahead regardless because, you know what, he won’t have the same story to tell. While I’m sure his book is a great read, he CAN’T have gone through the same experiences as me. He won’t be able to tell you how he scaled a 30ft fence and chased a local ned through the streets of Maryhill because he had stolen a ball during training only to be threatened with having a bull terrier set on him. He won’t be able to tell how one high-profile Hibs player refused to face Airdrie’s infamous Beastie Boys at Broomfield because he didn’t like the feeling of the nice, new strip hanging on his peg. He won’t be able to relay how the decision to hang up his boots came, after seven steroid injections and every muscle tear possible, as he stumbled around the stadium track on his own in the dark of the winter because the club could barely afford to put a light on. I can, because that’s part of my story.
My book will be released in November and, when all is said and done, I will be hugely proud of the fact I have written it and told the most important people of all, the fans, a lot of what really goes on beyond what you see on Sky. The people at Teckle Books will help me enormously over the next few months, as they have done from day one, to tidy up my story and make it a great read. I will continue my job, working long hours in the taxi, waiting as always for that elusive phone call that gives me an opportunity to get back in the game and when you read my story and hear about some of the things that REALLY go on, you’ll wonder why on Earth I even consider it. There’s only ever one reason, it’s in my blood. I love football and, as a player, a coach and now a fan, there is nothing I can do to change that. And I would never want to change how it makes me feel, the passion, the joy and the agony of it all, although one thing I have had to change, is the NAME of my story.
TAXI FOR FARRELL: Football Between the Lines is now available to pre-order from http://www.tecklebooks.co.uk .
I’ll be returning to my blog davidfarrellfaz.wordpress.com over the next few weeks to preview the new season and get my teeth into all my usual opinionated ramblings. I’ll be looking for some subjects to cover and anyone with any ideas, or that burning question you’ve always wanted to ask about what goes on ‘between the lines’ please, get in touch via Twitter @davidfarrellfaz and use the hashtag #taxiforfarrell
Meantime, it’s back to the second draft. Pre-season training is over and we’re now in among the friendlies. You know that part where it’s not quite the real stuff but you know it’s necessary to cut out the mistakes and iron out the formation, before finally getting the end product out there, in peak condition for everyone to see? Well that’s me, mirroring a football club’s preparation before my book can finally see the light of day in November and is ready for the fans to read, assess and hopefully enjoy. Because just like our beloved football, that’s ultimately what it should really be all about, the enjoyment when it all comes together. It’s what makes all the hard work, the pain and the agony worth it.